Last week we learned from Rick Mercer that there are a few things in Ottawa which are being done in a less than perfect manner. Only a little, but not entirely perfect if you really look hard.

Let us move on from that for a moment and see what Pembroke, Ontario has to show for the up-coming non-holiday of Hallowe’en, shall we? This aired originally on the 21^st of October, 2009, and you will not believe the size of these gourds, nor the purpose to which some are employed afterwards.

As for me, at the time you’re reading this (no sooner than the 28^th of October, 2009), I’m probably screaming blue murder at my computer; or in the direction of Redmond, Washington; or – more probably – both. Why? Well, I anticipate that around that point in the life of this planet I’ll be installing the new version of Microsoft’s operating system: Windows 7, Professional. Why did I choose to upgrade from the 9-year-old Windows XP, Professional? Well, it seems like a good idea right now (Friday, the 23^rd of October), but it’s probably not a good idea to be asking me that question when you’re reading this as I may replace your lungs with a nice, shiny installation DVD with a nifty holographic image on one of its surfaces.

[for those of you wondering how Microsoft is promoting this OS in new and exciting ways – as well as way they might do so, if only they had a sense of humour – can check out E-Sarcasm’s coverage of Win7’s promotion]

How am I typing this on last Friday but you’re not reading it until the Wednesday following? Simple: I call it ‘MAGIC’!

Or, if you’re picky about it, “Scheduled, PHP-driven Publishing Using the WordPress Platform”. But that’s so maudlin, isn’t it?

Those of you who read the earlier paragraph about my anticipated struggles to simply install an Operating System (especially one which may not actually have any point to it replacing my current one), plus are tempted to mutter “psst! get a Mac!”, can either send me a couple of grand for some new hardware, plus the same again for some software that runs on the Mac OSX (because all my current stuff won’t); or you can merely shut your screech holes. Your choice, really. Thanks. Kisses, darling!

So today’s big event (other than my Doctor’s appointment) was that one of the kittens was spayed. Logically, it was the female one: Cayenne. “Cayenne” — who was adopted in December — is so named because she was born in a Green Pepper greenhouse / barn because her Mother was ferile (and shortly after she was born Mom abandoned the two kids, and a week after we got Cayenne her brother was ‘found’). Now she’s old enough for spaying. We also have boy-cat (“Keith Mewn”; currently moving from my lap to the desk … why is this human TYPING?!?!) who will have his willie whacked some time before the end of the month. We got him in January.

Keith & Cayenne

They’re both young. They defy physics. Actually, they don’t defy it, they ignore it. Usually at 3:00 am. It’s like having a couple of three-year-old children, I think… WAIT! NO! Put that DOWN! HOLD STILL or you’ll garrotte yourself. GET OUT OF THE WAY! STOP THAT! LEAVE THAT ALONE, FER PETE’s SAKE… oh God… just shut up and die peacefully… PEACEFULLY, I SAID!

I just finished re-reading this blog’s entries back to to the new-year. Witty little bits of pithy humour and observation. Very fine. Go there. Read. Be amused and entertained.

When there, you’ll read about how she thinks all males have an ability to know about porn stars. Well, her males do. Her husband, for one, plus her 3-year-old son. She is concerned by this. I know nothing of what she speaks. What is this “porn”, anyway…? [consults OED] pronto… poncho.. poncinella… aha! [reads] …CHRIST ON A BIKE!! That’s disgusti–

I wonder if I can find some on the internet…?

[sees image of someone fisting a chicken]

AAAIIIGHGHGHGGHGHG!!!!!! MY EYES!

[collapses, thereby proving he really has read blog]

She’s also wondering if she can add a count-down timer like I’ve got over there on the right. Thing is, her blog is hosted by WordPress, as opposed to here which is located on a dedicated domain server of my own. What she needs to do is have access to “plug-ins”, and then she may be shown where to up-load the files to their server. Or maybe they have a list of plug-ins to select from. Perhaps the page for the count-down timer has something. I could tell you if I had a WordPress hosted bog… but I don’t. Does anyone out there have ideas?

Granted, she could also try the help thing through the blog, as that will likely be skewed to hosted blog owners / content providers / porn stars / journal maintenance technicians, etc.

Sorry? I said what? Balderdash! I’m an innocent civilian! Maybe some filthy theatricals know about such things, but not me! No no!

I’m still seeking a solicitor in the UK to handle my litigation. Bastards.

I wonder where I can find a live chicken…