Eclectic, Genre-Busting Fiction

Archive for the “” Category

There was a fair bit of discussion about whether or not it was ‘right’ for Guy “Mockney” Ritchie to join the ‘re-boot’ fad with a version of the character Sherlock Holmes. This, frankly, scares me. If Guy Ritchie, or Guy Madden, or even Guy Lombardo want to make a new version of the stories – and presuming there aren’t either copyright or other intellectual property concerns – then “go to it” say I. Rumour has it that there are fanatical, self-appointed ‘fidelity checkers’ who attend any production of the plays of Samuel Beckett, and if the production seems to be less than entirely traditional in its approach, they notify the Beckett estate and the director or production company are then either asked for a justification of the production design, informed they must cease production, or both. This sort of cultural deadening ought to be anathema to any creative person or even those who simply appreciate the creative arts.

Sherlock Holmes (2009)

Sherlock Holmes (2009)

So, that said, how did Mr. Ritchie do? Brilliantly, in my view.

The essence of the character is that of highly intellectual eccentric with a fountain of knowledge crammed into his brain and available at a moment’s notice. Coupled with that is his constant need for intellectual stimulation which can only be calmed briefly by the world, thus necessitating the injection of opium, consumption of alcohol, or non-stop experimentation with both. After that, yes, there are a bunch of things that need to be observed, but that’s the basic un-changeable nature of the thing.

Given the above character specifics, it’s hardly surprising that Robert Downie Jr. is the man in the role of the detective. While one shouldn’t say “he was born to play this”, as it sounds a bit too messianic for one thing, it still seems presumptuous to suggest that the reason for his chemical self-abuse in the 1990s was so that he would be a perfect actor in this series. None the less, it works.

There were a few reviewers who suggested that Holmes and Watson had more than tinge of “bromance” or possibly even homo-erotic tone to their friendship. Where this comes from may be a tetchiness about their verbal sparring, plus the certain jealousy when two flat-mates are separated due to one of them getting married. There is nothing more there, and its most probable piece of evidence pointed to by some would be that we see them initially arguing over the possession of an article of clothing; something which ‘Gay men argue about all the time’, which is ridiculous. the two men simple love each other, as any two close friends do, and not with a love “who dare not speak its name” as the parlance of their time phrased it. I wouldn’t have a problem with the two characters actually being lovers, but there’s insufficient evidence to get on one’s high horse about the possibility here, and that house isn’t about to get more disturbed than merely shifting around on its hooves a bit.

The fight scenes using a combination of ‘Baritsu’ and ‘Wing-Chun Kung Fu’ (but mostly the latter) are excellent, and aptly add to the story with both action and plot development. The nature of the villains and heroes are demonstrated and broadened, yet mostly the scenes add the thrill of the event more than anything. A huge chunk of the fight in “the Punchbowl Pit” probably could have gone without any perceptible loss, but that’s something that’s subjective; others would want more of it.

The ‘look’ of the thing is excellent, with the digital creation of Victorian-era London being nigh-on flawless. The one place where it does seem a tad fiddly is with the complexity of Tower Bridge’s creation: it’s almost too intricate and on our screen had some artifacts around its outline, making it stand out with a “hey look at how cleaver we are!” nature as a result. Given the up-scaling from a DVD image to an HD monitor, it was probably better in the theatres and could very well look fine on someone else’s screen. It bothered me, however.

What really could have been fixed – and wasn’t a result of various technical aspects – was the singular lack of colour in the image. The poster above is a good indication of the over-all palate of the presentation: cold, quite blue, and drab. Granted, London in the late 1800s was a damned filthy place, with much of the city covered in inches of coal dust, thus hardly somewhere you go to for the excitement of a riot of colours. Still, it’s a fairly prevalent trend in cinema these days, so the lack of saturation and colour range over-all is something I’m growing weary of.

Of additional concern is the sheer number of production companies involved in making what might have been a fairly simple film. Six production companies involved in initial creation is insane. Certainly the amount of digital effects – city skylines, ship’s hulls, bridges and so on – was necessary due to the star of the story being the location and time of the tale. It’s impossible to do something from the Sherlock Holmes ‘canon’ without showing as much of the city and its own character as is possible, based on technology available at the time. Still, couldn’t there be a way of doing all that which didn’t demand so much money and so much financial risk that the thing has to be an insanely huge block-buster in order to begin to cover its own costs?

Sherlock Holmes (2009)
a Warner Bros. Pictures presentation
in association with Village Roadshow Pictures
a Silver Pictures production
a Wigram production in association with
Internationale Filmproduktion Blackbird Dritte GmbH & Co.
and Lin Pictures (uncredited)

Directed by
Guy Ritchie

Writing credits
screenplay by Michael Robert Johnson and Anthony Peckham and Simon Kinberg
with screen story by Lionel Wigram and Michael Robert Johnson
using the characters “Sherlock Holmes” and “Dr. Watson” created by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

This year, I’ve been watching DVDs from the library for a number of reasons, mostly to do with a combination of “filling in the gaps in my ‘pop culture’ knowledge”, as well as a concerted effort to better understand story editing by both watching a film and then re-watching listening to people who have studied that particular movie for years in order to better appreciate the themes, plot construction, symbolism, and so on.

The process would be nothing without the secondary audio tracks. Sometimes it’s like having actually been through the film-making process with the people involved.

Mood: ignored
Music: CBC Radio1’s “On the Coast”
Book: Into the Unknown: The Fantastic Life of Nigel Kneale, by Andy Murray (2006, Headpress, ISBN 9781900486507)

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PART OFMARATHON, ONE AFTERNOON VIEWING OF EPISODES 1 – 3

Star Wars: Episode 1, The Phantom Menace (1999)

Star Wars: Episode 1, The Phantom Menace (1999)

Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)

The starting 20 minutes of this is so dense in its provision of information and background, coupled with explosions and action, that it could easily be provided in a movie of its own. I had to re-start the film in order to catch material not understood (although I was stuffing envelopes at the time).

The characters could have used more humanity, and the creatures could have used it as well. There’s so much on display for the sake of “lookey and see what we can do digitally!”

A fair start, with promise.

Star Wars: Episode 2, Attack of the Clones (2002)

Star Wars: Episode 2, Attack of the Clones (2002)

Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002)

The whole “I’ve gotta find my mother” sequence is a direct lift from John Ford’s The Searchers, including (but probably not limited to) an exact duplication of the shot where the young hero drops off a flat rock to the valley floor below. By “exact”, I mean just that: the identical rock and valley are used, he’s the head-strong male seeking a relative, the kidnappers are encamped in tents and are described as “animals”, the relative dies, and the young male goes on a killing spree. This might be called “honouring the earlier work”, but it’s too much of a lift from the western for that really.

In the last film, Natalie Portman was the one who was the weakest actor, now it’s Hayden Christiansen who sucks. So very tiring.

Again, we have oodles of plot points and story detail with equal amounts of action; all of which leaves you tired. “Something for everyone” does make for a bit of a muddle for all.

The all-digital film making is on show at a few places quite badly: when Aniken zooms off to the horizon on his bike to locate the Tuskan Raiders’ camp, he remains sharp no matter how far he is from us, when he would become fuzzy from the dust in the air and the heat from the ground; when zooming around in an asteroid field after Jango Fett and his son Boba, Qi-Jon (or however it’s spelled) narrowly misses perfectly detailed rocks right in front of us that are matched in perfection to the ones far away. This all sounds needlessly picky, but no matter what your photo experience, something at least subconsciously ‘feels wrong’. Bah!

Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005)
Star Wars: Episode III — Revenge of the Sith (2005)

Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005)

Until this viewing, I had never seen this instalment

Aniken can act now, and thankfully there’s no ‘newbie’ in the cast this time. Thank God.

In a frantic effort to shove the final threads into place so as to dove-tail perfectly with “A New Hope”, Lucas crams everything into the 145-minute experience filling every nook and cranny with explosions, colour, story points, dialogue, display panels, and anything else he can lay his hands on. Michael Bay would look on it as being a rough edit which required more post-production work, probably, but the need for all this wasn’t something for which the undertaking was altogether wise.

Surely the audience doesn’t need everything explained or perfectly linked on to the second trilogy? Is there no mystery permitted in life any more?

Yes, the creation of Darth Vader in both spiritual and physically recognizable form is accomplished — and should be, probably — but do we need to have another homage to John Ford with a brilliant sunset behind a silhouetted rancher family as an end-shot? Do we need to see our now-separated twins with their loving protectors? Did we even need to see the twins named at birth? Surely we knew who they were when Padmi was pregnant! If we follow the line of the story logically, we find out who Luke and Leia are in the later episodes! Behold! A spoiler created to spoil the spoilers we might have had!

While this may be the best of the three prequals, if the first two episodes had been stretched over three instalments and this one was not used at all, more character and story development might have been accomplished without the WHAM!! BAMM! getting in the way so much.

Pfah.

This year, I’ve been watching DVDs from the library for a number of reasons, mostly to do with a combination of “filling in the gaps in my ‘pop culture’ knowledge”, as well as a concerted effort to better understand story editing by both watching a film and then re-watching listening to people who have studied that particular movie for years in order to better appreciate the themes, plot construction, symbolism, and so on.

The process would be nothing without the secondary audio tracks. Sometimes it’s like having actually been through the film-making process with the people involved.

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Now it would seem that it’s all over. I have tweeted so dang much that my API has been shut off due to it being used over-much.

Sadly, in my opinion, Harper has been handed a blank cheque to do whatever he wants, with no punishment in the offing. The national voters seem to have said “whatever it takes” in order to get whatever it is that is their individual priority. This makes me sad.

As with the previous post, what follows is a copy of my stream as I “live tweeted” the returns (which is hardly a verb, but I haz not a shit to carez for dat as the LOL-kidz say. This will again be in reverse chronology, so head to the bottom to work your way from start to finish.

Brad K
oytamarind Brad K — RT by IanAMartin
What part of “CONTEMPT OF PARLIAMENT” do you guileless sheep not understand?! #elxn41
24 minutes ago
Ian Alexander Martin
@thedarkerside We’ll all be safe once everyone is in jail! …oh, wait… #elxn41bc
15 minutes ago
Ian Alexander Martin
#elxn41bc Bby Douglas is going to be a very close one again. NDP 43% to CPC 39%. I smell re-count.
17 minutes ago
Jon Jennings
JonJennings Jon Jennings — RT by IanAMartin
If one good thing comes out of this, it’ll be me finally applying for my citizenship so I can vote against these liars & criminals next time
Ian Alexander Martin
#elxn41bc Canada has handed Harper a blank cheque. What in blazes are we going to do until someone locks him in jail?
20 minutes ago
Ian Alexander Martin
@Astrogirl426 The PM + his Gov’t was charged with “contempt” (and that was a new charge to my ears) and out-right lied during campaign. Sad.
22 minutes ago
Ian Alexander Martin
@Astrogirl426 About to begin second glass of wine. #elxn41bc
25 minutes ago
Ian Alexander Martin
#elxn41bc Here’s a question: does this mean a resurgence of the Proportional Representation, I wonder?
25 minutes ago
Renée Stephen
reneestephen Renée Stephe–RT by IanAMartin
They used to say that Canada trails the US by about 10 years in terms of trends. We’re right on track, I guess.
26 minutes ago
Pete Quily
pqpolitics Pete QuilyRT by IanAMartin
“I will serve as long as the party wants me to serve and not a day longer” Iggy Not long I’d suggest #elxn41 #lpc
27 minutes ago
Ian Alexander Martin
@Astrogirl426 Holy crap, it’s like 1980 when Reagan cleaned-up in California and re-drew everything conservative. #elxn41bc
28 minutes ago
Ian Alexander Martin
#elxn41bc Wow the CBC Translator’s microphone really needs to be grounded. Terrible buzz!
29 minutes ago
Ian Alexander Martin
@harrietglynn Don’t forget that the CPC is the Reform with new name, it’s NOT the old Tories. @smuttysteff @anthonyfloyd #elxn41bc
30 minutes ago
Phoenix Lam
PhoeLam Phoenix LamRT by IanAMartin
In other news…my cat just ran into the door. LOL 31 minutes ago
Ian Alexander Martin
@smuttysteff @anthonyfloyd Well, it’s certainly the end of the [Liberal] party that we have known over the years. 33 minutes ago
Ian Alexander Martin
#elxn41bc Burnaby South/New West looks like NDP again. It moves around a bit historically. 34 minutes ago
Ian Alexander Martin
@AnthonyFloyd There’s some coughing [in the Liberal crowd] a second ago. I think they’re all incredibly stunned. #elxn41bc 35 minutes ago
Ian Alexander Martin
#elxn41bc Libby Davies ahead by over 2:1 and solid enough to call that one. 36 minutes ago
Ian Alexander Martin
#elxn41bc Liberals down 44 seats. It’s almost as bad as Kim Campbell taking Mulrony’s drubbing for him. 37 minutes ago
Ian Alexander Martin
#elxn41bc How odd that the crowd in front of Ignatieff isn’t doing traditional vocal denial of results when he congratulates Harper/Leighton. Well, okay, not odd; telling. 37 minutes ago
Ian Alexander Martin
@harrietglynn @smuttysteff Ken Dryden is behind substantially. I’ve said it before: there is no safe seat this year. 39 minutes ago
Stephen Quinn
CBCStephenQuinn Stephen QuinnRT by IanAMartin
Duceppe defeated. elxn41bc 41 minutes ago
Ian Alexander Martin
@Zoeyjane “Even the Bruins won”…? What riding were they in? I was… oh. sorry. #elxn41bc 40 minutes ago
Ian Alexander Martin
#elxn41bc Van South 1300 to 1100 (CPC to Liberal) 41 minutes ago
ouno
ounodesign ounoRT by IanAMartin
RT @AndyJukes: Don’t call them Tories. The Tory party is long gone. These people are right-wing lunatics, plain and simple. #elxn41
42 minutes ago
Ian Alexander Martin
@AnthonyFloyd Pardon? Oh, I suppose that [Elisabeth May is] independent/other until [the Greens] have official status.
[Vancouver East MP Libby Davies] got 550 to 235 last I saw. …so that’s something. #elxn41bc 44 minutes ago
Ian Alexander Martin
#elxn41bc BBY-Douglas is now NDP 46% to Cons 39%. And it just went there from a wider margin. Eeep! ~ Elizabeth May 566, next one is 543.
45 minutes ago
CBC Vancouver
CBCVancouver CBC Vancouver–RT by IanAMartin
Type in your postal code and get results for your riding http://bit.ly/elnK8g #elxn41 50 minutes ago
Stephen Quinn
CBCStephenQuinn Stephen QuinnRT by IanAMartin
Popular Vote so Far: CPC 40 NDP 31 Lib 20 BQ 5 Green 3.5 #elxn41bc National Numbers 50 minutes ago
Ian Alexander Martin
#elxn41bc @harrietglynn Totally. [The Liberal’s drubbing is] a bullet [Ignatieff] will not dodge. Paul Martin bowed out after a far better position. 1 hour ago
Ian Alexander Martin
#elxn41bc @cbcnewsbc says independent/other in one riding. Please tell me this is Helena Georgis (badly spelled: turfed by Harper for rumours) 1 hour ago
Ian Alexander Martin
#elxn41bc Hating m keyboard layout. Hating! 1 hour ago
Ian Alexander Martin
vancouver East.#elxn41bc Libbie Davies ahead 2:1 in ~~ 1 hour ago
Ian Alexander Martin
#elxn41bc Elisabeth May is in very slim lead by 39 votes. @Herne
Ignatieff STILL behind by nearly 1,000 votes. ~ Bob Rae is very tight in the lead. ~ 1 hour ago
Emme Rogers
EmmeRogers Emme Rogers–RT by IanAMartin
What happened with the University Vote Mobs? Please don’t tell me they voted Conservative or neglected to actually vote? 1 hour ago
Ian Alexander Martin
#elxn41bc Chilliwack-Fraser Canyon sees Strahl’s son in with a 2:1 rate. Surprising, given his lack of experience. Vancouver-East: Con high 300, Liberal mid-200. The BQ and Liberals are both down the same amount of popular vote. Ken Dryden is out! KEN DRYDEN!!!! Un-be-liev-a-ble. 1 hour ago
Ian Alexander Martin
#elxn41bc @cbcnewsbc now caling Conservative Majority. I am getting wine now.
BBY-Doug NDP ahead by 66%. Conservatives 2nd place, AND THEY DID NOTHING FOR THAT!
1 hour ago
Ian Alexander Martin
#elxn41bc Vancouver south: CPC 120, to Lib 90-odd. Sorry, @julesjulesjules ~ Vancouver East 216 to 135 (NDP vs. Cons) 1 hour ago
Steffani Cameron
smuttysteff Steffani Cameron–RT by IanAMartin 1 hour ago
Anyone who didn’t vote today, they ever fucking whine to me about this country, NOT slapping them might be impossible.
Herne
Herne Herne–RT by IanAMartin
Gilles Duceppe is out! Ignatieff is still down by 1,000 votes! #cdnpoli #elxn41
Ian Alexander Martin
There are no safe seats tonight. People have abandoned the Liberals and gone NDP? How ARE the Cons getting this support?
2 hours ago
Ian Alexander Martin
@ Usually, yes, but [Libby Davies’] lead right now is still very slim. Everything in Canada is up for change from the norm it seems. 2 hours ago
Ian Alexander Martin
Bby-Douglas 205 NDP, CPC 104. Again, close. ~ Vancouver East is 150 to 120 for NDP, but still too early. ~ Kooteney is CPC 2:1, Okanagan is CPC 7:3, New West-Coquitlam very very close. 2 hours ago
Ian Alexander Martin
Vancouver East might not go NDP, but all numbers below 100 ~ Rishmond: CPC 4:1 [I swear I hadn’t even opened wine at this point] ~ Okanagan Shuswap: CPC 2:1 ~ Delta-Richmond CPC 3:1 ~ Bby-Douglas looks like NDP so far. ~ 2 hours ago
Ian Alexander Martin
@ so very saddening. South Surry: CPC by 3:1 ~ Cariboo: CPC by 3:1 ~ Too Close to call: Vcvr-Quadra, Vcvr-Kingsway. Both look NDP-leaning 2 hours ago
CBC VancouverRT by IanAMartin Current results: CON 153 NDP 106 LIB 31 BQ 4
2 hours ago
Ian Alexander Martin
@ Even URBAN Ontario has gone blue. What country is this? Has John A come back?
2 hours ago
Karen WaltonRT by IanAMartin
Ontario, I never knew ye. You have swallowed the Kool-Aid and yet hate on pre-change US? Really, rural ON. wow. 2 hours ago
Ian Alexander Martin
@ That’s what I thought. It’s like Reagan cleaning-up in California. By today’s standards, Reagan would make a good Liberal leader. 2 hours ago
Ian Alexander Martin
Richmond is CPC (Wong) by 151 to 36 for liberals ~ Kootenay is CPC (Wilkes) by 2:1 ~ If there’s oodles of conservative support, why am I living here still? 2 hours ago
Ian Alexander Martin
According to CBC prediction: Conservatives 153 seats. One more and they’ll have a true majority. Oops! 151 seats now. 2 hours ago
Ian Alexander Martin
Duceppe behind by 1/3 in his riding. Harper’s ahead by 500% in his riding. Ignatieff behind by 10% in his. 2 hours ago
Stephen QuinnRT by IanAMartin
Wait… BC could decide on whether it’s a CPC majority. Don’t turn it off yet! #elxn41bc 20 hours ago
Ian Alexander Martin
Ontario is rejecting the Liberals in droves. I’ve never seen that. I wonder when it last was this way. Duceppe and Ignatieff are both trailing in 2nd place in their ridings. The whole Canadian Political map is being redrawn. The clear message voters are giving is “Harper can do ANYTHING he wants.” So very sad. 20 hours ago
Ian Alexander Martin
@ I suspect that Justin [Trudeau] might actually refuse to run for leader [of the Canadian Liberal Party]. He’s already seen what that demands. 20 hours ago
Ian Alexander Martin
CBC predicts NDP as er Majesty’s Loyal Opposition. I can live with that. ~ …okay. Conservatives 138, NDP 87, Lib 29, BQ 6. Time for wine, I think. ~ What with the results we have now, the desire to start a pool about when @ sits down calls to me. 20 hours ago
Steffani CameronRT by IanAMartin
Don’t know why I’m even planning to watch the election results. I wonder if there’s a hole I can go stick my head in somewhere. 20 hours ago
Ian Alexander Martin
Volpe is at HALF the CPC candiate’s numbers. What the hell happened? I didn’t think the Conservatives had a chance! I know long-term Tories who refused to vote for the Harper-led party. Ajax/Pickering: CPC ahead by 25%. Ignatieff is ahead by one. ONE vote! Incredible. Totally insane. 20 hours ago
Ian Alexander Martin
Things are early still, but CBC TV saying 132 Con, 70 NDP, Lib 29, Bloc 5. Missed the radio numbers. Volpe is out, PC replaced him in Eglington. Surprising. So is Soloman waving his arms around. Not normal for him. 20 hours ago
CBC News AlertsRT by IanAMartin
Cabinet ministers Peter MacKay, Gail Shea re-elected . Defence minister wins in NS, fisheries minister wins in PEI. 20 hours ago
Ian Alexander Martin
CBC reporting 62 NDP seats, Liberals 27, Bloc 5. Liberals looking worst in its history. CBC projecting CPC government with 131 seats (150 for majority). 20 hours ago
Steffani CameronRT by IanAMartin
Global is apparently CALLING the election nationally without even having had polls close on the west? If so, fuck off, Global. Asshats. 20 hours ago
Ian Alexander Martin
I still say the easiest process for voting is a pencil and a bit of paper.
20 hours ago
Ian Alexander Martin
Damned fingers are cold, plus a bandage on one of them, and this netbook has an 80% keyboard. 20 hours ago
Stephen QuinnRT by IanAMartin
8 minutes Until we are able to report results. Man. Long eight minutes. 20 hours ago
Ian Alexander Martin
I’m guessing that Vancouver-South will be Dosanj due to Leung’s civil case and Malik’s approval. …okay, HOPING that happens. 20 hours ago
CBC VancouverRT by IanAMartin
11 minutes left before results @ continues to introduce the Canada Votes panel 20 hours ago
Ian Alexander Martin
Hearing @ discussing Social Media points. AM 690 / FM 88.1 20 hours ago
Gay Bachelor BlogRT by IanAMartin
The blueberries are at 25, the strawberries at 21, oranges at 15  20 hours ago
Jessica Adamson @RT by IanAMartin
UBC students are getting turned away from the polls? Does anyone have confirmation. 20 hours ago
Herne
Herne–RT by IanAMartin
Canada : Stephen Harper breaks election rules, campaigns on radio on election day 20 hours ago
Ian Alexander Martin
Narduar on TV right now with Ignatief. Thank goodness the signal’s muted. ~ Burnaby-Douglas was NDP last time by 700 votes, CPC 2nd place. No campaigning by them this time, so NDP #1 and CPC #3. My guess is that Atlantic Canada will go CPC and Liberal, as those are very tradition-based voting patterns. Multi-gen. traditions 20 hours ago
Chris D.–RT by IanAMartin
Interesting. Americans on Twitter encouraging Canadians to e-mail them early election results and they’ll tweet them. 22 hours ago
CBC VancouverRT by IanAMartin
CBC takes a light look at with @ kicking things off. @ says he wouldn’t want to be PM as it doesn’t pay enough. 20 hours ago
Ian Alexander Martin
I wonder if the CPC candidate for Bby-Douglas ever knocked on a door? *I* never saw him. ~ Polls close in 26 minutes people. VOTE YOUR ASS OFF (presuming you haven’t yet). ~ Evan Soloman looks so spiffy in his suit and his gigantic iPad. He keeps making smileys on it too.  20 hours ago
Ian Alexander Martin
Hey, Harper! You shouldn’t “be in Ottawa dealing with the economy”, you should be dealing with the Contempt Charges! 21 hours ago
Ian Alexander Martin
The real question about @ TV coverage: will @ get to sit down? ~ Hey! @ is following 42 people now! ~ AHA! @ is standing! 21 hours ago
Ian Alexander Martin
A Conservative majority results in nation-wide celibacy. 21 hours ago
Ian Alexander Martin
Currently watching Gloria and New Guy chat… oh, now we’re in commercial. BC feed not picked up on radio yet, polls close in 40 21 hours ago
raincoasterRT by IanAMartin
@ Personally, I’m thinking watching the election on the big screen at a casino might be a good metaphor 21 hours ago
Stephen QuinnRT by IanAMartin
Going Live with our local coverage in 12 minutes on CBC Radio One. Tag your local tweets and we’ll pull them in to Cover it Live. 21 hours ago
Ian Alexander Martin
Currently in basement, on netbook, @ on, @ muted on TV… all is ready. 21 hours ago
 

Ignatieff STILL behind by nearly 1,000 votes.

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Yesterday, being the day before the federal election, I ‘rehearsed’ in my twitter stream, just so as to be ready for later today. Below is the result. Note that the most final, or “most recent one”, is at the top, so you should read them in order from the bottom up to maintain chronological order. Also, that way the punch line will follow the set-up. Always better.

Ian Alexander Martin
…right. Rehearsal complete. Tune in to see those gaps filled in with actual names and quotes. The fun starts at 7:00pm Pac. #elxn41bc
23 hours ago
Ian Alexander Martin
Does anyone know where I can get a TV repaired inexpensively? #elxn41bc
Ian Alexander Martin
If [party leader] says [frequent talking point phrase] once more I’m going to throw something at the TV! #elxn41bc
Ian Alexander Martin
@AnthonyFloyd This is why the rehearsal is good. Locating both correct spelling and smart location prior to need. #elxn41bc
Ian Alexander Martin
OMG! I can’t believe [name of candidate] got re-elected! After they said [daft public statement] only last week? #elxn41bc
Ian Alexander Martin
If those numbers from the east for #elxn41bc don’t get neutralized by BC soon, I’m going to set some houses on fire!
Ian Alexander Martin
Iff’n something doesn’t come in soon for [riding not yet reporting returns] I’ma gonna kill someone! #elxn41bc
Ian Alexander Martin
AUUGHGHGGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGGHGHGHGH! #elxn41bc is going to be the worst moment in the history of the Dominion! I’m moving to New Zeland!
Ian Alexander Martin
HOLY CRAP! I don’t believe the returns in [riding name] for [candidate/party affiliation]!!! It’s like [year it happened] again! #elxn41bc
Ian Alexander Martin
[then realizes he forgot #elxn41bc in the last tweet, swears quietly, notes he’ll have to be careful about that in 24 hours]
Ian Alexander Martin
[twitches a bit, flexes arms, stretches back and shoulders, wiggles fingers, rolls head around on neck]
Ian Alexander Martin
Okay, earlier today @petermansbridge and @CBCStephenQuinn were rehearsing for #elxn41bc tomorrow, so it’s time for me to do the same. [ahem]
The Dextr application which makes your Twitter feed into a screen-filling, one-tweet-per-screen image that you can run on a secondary screen or laptop.

The Dextr application which makes your Twitter feed into a screen-filling, one-tweet-per-screen image that you can run on a secondary screen or laptop.

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Last September, I complained about how I no longer had any respect for what I felt was an egregiously arrogant attitude demonstrated by the then-Premier of British Columbia, Gordon Campbell.

BC Premier Resigns!!

BC Premier Resigns!!

This resulted, barely over two months later, in the headline on the left: “Premier’s resignation ‘emotional’ for Liberals”. It was also emotional for non–Liberals, but an entirely different and diametrically opposed one, I assure you.

Clearly I have more power than even Stephen Colbert does, and am able to topple reigning governments.

Thus, I now call the attention of the Right Honourable Stephen Harper, QC PC; Prime Minster of Her Majesty’s Dominion of Canada; leader of the Conservative Party of Canada; and Member of Parliament for Calgary Southwest, that he is being called out for being ‘a big poopie head’! He may choose to ignore this, but he is urged to hie his thoughts to the fate of the previous leader to be like engaged on this blog.

I vaguely recall people suggesting that President Clinton ought was to be impeached for merely lying about getting a blow-job in the Oval Office, yet this nit-wit gets to blame the other parties for anything that pops into his head. Why, when refusing to provide simple financial information about budgetary estimates, even after being ordered to do so by a Parliamentary Committee, does he get to ignore the fact and say in the House of Commons that “the Opposition is refusing to negotiate about this budget” and not get bounced on his pointy head on the way into a holding cell?

Stephen Harper, Canadian Prime Minister, at Jan. 2010 World Economic Forum (photo, Remy Steinegger)

Stephen Harper, Canadian Prime Minister, at Jan. 2010 World Economic Forum (photo, Remy Steinegger)

Plus, for a Conservative Party Leader, Mr. Harper does a terribly poor job of respecting traditions, I might add.

No matter what your political stripe, and despite your view of the policies of ‘the Harper Government’ (as he’s now decreed the ‘Government of Canada’ is to be referred), you’ll probably agree that a guy who doesn’t follow the rules of his own parliamentary system really ought to give his head a shake.

My principle concern is the seeming ease that Mr. Harper has with ignoring the truth, ignoring the need to rule in an open manner, and to follow the law of the Her Majesty’s House of Parliament.

When Mr. Harper says that a coalition isn’t an acceptable way to form a government – after attempting to form one in 2004, plus the fact that it’s perfectly fine according to the British Parliamentary system – he’s lying.

When he says he was defeated because of the budget – when the motion of non-confidence specifically referenced not just one, but the first two findings of ‘Contempt of Parliament’ for a PM in the history of the Commonwealth – he’s lying.

When he says that average Canadians don’t care about “political manœuvrings” – when, I would like to point out, this ‘average Canadian’ does care about the wording of motions made in the House of Parliament and would damned well like him to start caring about it them as well – he’s lying.

His then standing around and saying “those guys, those other political guys over there, shouldn’t get any help trying to stop my run-away train in its head-long rush to an American-style bicameral governmental structure” just pisses me right off. Here’s something the talented actor Peter New posted on Facebook a few days ago, with his comments coming first, then the newspaper article he’s reacting to just after that.

OK, so what he means here is, “my party can pay our election costs either way due to the support we get from wealthy donators, and if we scrap this subsidy we can win more elections because the other guys are all supported by poor people.” Or am I misreading it?

Tired of constant campaigns, Harper says he’ll scrap per-vote subsidy (“Globe and Mail”) – Last attempt to eliminate public stipend for political parties triggered coalition attempt to topple Tories in 2008

No, Mr. New, you are spot-on with your assessment. What in blazes does Mr. Harper think he can get away with here? Basically he’s saying “Well, we’re in power now so what you, the electorate, have to do is re-elect us with a proper majority. This way, we can ensure that those other parties will never be able to stage a meaningful campaign ever again, and I can have the ‘PM for Life’ title that God created me for.”

Lest you think that he’s not already of a mind that he’s in a position of superiority, remember that this is the guy who decided that the name of the country wasn’t as important in the Government’s identity as his own name; is of the opinion that ‘marriage’ is something only acceptable between people of opposing genders, despite the fact that ‘love’ seems to be in short supply around the World; decided last year that it was somehow wrong to make the census ‘long form’ mandatory and preserve the usefulness of the data and the money spent to gather it; and declared that there was no actual need to examine any options for new fighter-jets, beyond the asking “which one did the USA opt for?”, thus giving the country a cost currently estimated* at over $264 million for each of the 64 aircraft!

I’m fed-up with the whole lot of political leaders in the country, by the way, but will admit to being most fed-up with Harper; both as a politician as well as a man.

I yearn for those days when the leaders still directly engaged with one another. You know, the “You had an option, sir!” era? Back when we actually had leaders! You know, like Pierre Elliot Trudeau, John Diefenbaker, and even Joe Clark: people who, even if you didn’t agree with their thinking, clearly were making a decision that was based on something other than their own Sisyphean, hubris-stuffed whims.

An illuminating essay by Murray Dobbin about the retrenchment of Canada’s unique governing codes in favour of American ones can be READ AND/OR DOWNLOADED HERE. I admit I’ve not read a word of it, but seeing as the above screed of my own had resulted in me needing a lie-down, the essay of Mr. Dobbin’s would most likely require me to have a coronary by-pass.

Again I will point out to Mr. Harper that the last time I stood up for what I believe in, the result was a party leadership campaign.

ADDED LATER: Again, thanks to Mr. New for pointing out this development: it now seems that Mr. Harper cares not for even the semblance of accountability, as the media invited to a ‘photo op’ are limited to that activity only, and that any questions of any nature are no longer welcomed.

And now, here’s Stephen Colbert’s version of the fall of the government. Because by this point we all need a laugh.


* We would know exactly what it will be, but that’s one of the things not being provided to the House of Commons [RETURN]

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